Thursday, March 11, 2010

fame, icons, fantasy and truth

This is a question. This is not an answer. It is a question.
As i come to the midway point of my six month plan i am taking this opportunity to look back on where i have come from, what i have achieved and where i am now. I had an ideal of being an artist like none other, who shared freely of the deepest parts of himself. I made a commitment to being completely open and honest with my fans. It was about doing things in a new way. A new paradigm for life where people can handle the complexities of a whole human being without the polarized politicalization of CHARACTER. today these high dreams for society and the world (and the implementation of those dreams in the petri dish of my career) are at the forefront of my mind. Ive been filming myself for months now. letting all the trials and tribulations unfold on camera and unabashedly sharing them with the world..but is this really the way? are people ready for the flawed hero? for the truth behind the facade? we build up our heroes to be champions. Their stories speak to us of what humanity can achieve. When Beyonce is phenomenal onstage we all get to be phenomenal and we WANT to worship her as a Hero in our midst. These icons give us hope for humanity but in the end they are human. But do we want them to be human? i mean deep down? One would probably say yes. but i mean, do you REALLY?
Would you want to know if Beyonce had a yeast infection or was constipated or any of the other mundane or uncomfortable elements that make up this experience of being human? would you want to see her at her lowest point? Lashing out, or mean or rude or scared? All of these things that are an integral part of being human? I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe we want her to be more than that. to pretend that none of those things exist for her. I'm realizing there is a line. My ideal of full disclosure is an impossibility as one could never communicate the entirety of what it is to be them through words and pictures and videos and even a personal encounter. therefore whatever people are left with is an impression. A caricature of the self. And with limited "airtime" (that is to say there is a limited amount of computing power that can go into judging and evaluating someone) what will i choose to show? will i show you the fears and the doubts..the struggles and the frustrations? the moments i am at my worst? or do i filter this character to be a HERO? an idealized version of myself that gives hope and strength to the world. The politician smile is something I've resented for a long time but would you really want to hear obama give his every opinion? would you want to hear how he REALLY feels about the republicans? Or FOX news? i dont know.
As i sit here wondering what it will take to "break" as an artist, these are the things that are on my mind. I don't know if my experiment is working. I have a picture of myself. He's costumed, he is made up perfectly and he stands powerfully to face the night. This character has been with me for a long time. I've seen him in my dreams and I've lived him on stage but i wipe him off at the end of the day. Is the world ready to watch me take the make-up off and be awkward and forget my keys and make mistakes. Would they STILL respect the strong, powerful performer who appears on stage? it is an act but it is no less a part of me...it is as much of an act as the calm, collected fellow i become in the grocery store, or the fun drunk friend i become in a nightclub. they are all acts. So the QUESTION is HOW MUCH do i reveal? when is it too much? When my album come out in a few months i am setting it up to be exposed to ALOT of new people. They will like it or they wont but if they like it, and they look deeper into who i am, what will they see? Will showing them as much of ME as possible take away from the fantasy or allow even more of an affinity to grow? I dont know anymore. I'm starting to think id rather Beyonce show me all her Wonder Woman and leave Diana Prince behind closed doors but, again, this is a question. Not an answer. A question. what are your thoughts?

22 comments:

maddie said...

we want human heros cass <3. ingrain this quote into your head cause we love you !

"Heroes don't leap tall buildings or stop bullets with an outstretched hand; they don't wear boots and capes. They bleed, and they bruise, and their superpowers are as simple as listening, or loving. Heroes are ordinary people who know that even if their own lives were impossibly knotted, they could untangle someone else's. And maybe that one act could lead someone to rescue you right back."- Jodi Picoult

Holly @rvnhawk said...

Cassidy, I have been refressed by you honesty. But your blog has me thinking, how many of us show our true selves to those around us? Maybe to a few close friends, maybe only our significant other. You are a hero in being brave in attempting to show all to your fans. I understand your trepidation at continuing to do so as you become more well-known and have more eyes on you and thus have more opinions thrust on you. In the end, it is ultimately your choice whether you decide to put up some barrier of sorts on that 4th wall that has been lowered in the past.

bigfatdaddie1 said...

I think you could do both, be your self first, the hero isn't made, the hero in all of us just happens.
let your music lead you, let the artist be your guide..and if all else fails, try again.

Lisa Gomez said...

trust me, one of the most endearing things about you is your honesty. I think the world has enough dishonesty and lies as it is... and I know it's impossible to share every bit of your life with your fans but I actually respect the artists who show as much as they can, as much as they're willing to show. At the end of the day I don't worship celebrities because they're perfect, I find them fascinating because they ARE people, they're NORMAL people... I love reading interviews because sometimes they answer questions truthfully and those are the fascinating parts of people to me... the tragedy, the honesty, the stripping away of society's mask.

Tammi said...

Cass,

I agree with Maddie. We want human Heroes. We want you to be real with us. We love you for who we perceive you to be. When you're real, we're able to love the real you. But be the act, too. Because we will love that facade, too. When you love someone, you love everything, from the drunken fool to the angry a$$ to the adorable suitor.

Love encompasses all. Remember we love YOU.

laura said...

It's been really interesting to be on the "other side" of your experiment, Cassidy, because at first, I agreed with you - I wanted to see the "warts and all" approach to the fame game. But what that ultimately means is that we see the warts and all. We see you making decisions we might not recommend, we see you getting caught up in the moments, both amazing and less so.

There are times, I'll be honest, that I wish I knew less. Maybe it's because, with the 'warts and all' approach, we care, a lot, for you. And we want you to succeed (I'm making an assumption here, as it applies to me - I care). But at the same time, because of the door that's been opened, it puts us in a position of thinking we should have a say in *how* you do things, or even if. It comes, perhaps, even, with a sense of entitlement, right or wrong (not that entitlement doesn't come with fandom; it's one of the least appealing aspects of it, in my opinion).

It isn't our place nor is it our right to tell you how you should or shouldn't do things, whether we agree or not. That idea comes, though, I think, with that door being opened.

So to answer your question for me and no one else, I've learned that I'd rather have Diana Prince left behind the stage door with occasional peeks at the man behind the curtain. A little illusion perhaps.

And perhaps that says much more for my own limitations and expectations of the whole game.

Jiele Park said...

Imo, the world has enough idealised 'heroes' who only show one or two sides of themselves because the rest is somehow 'unacceptable' or 'too much'... They serve their purpose, I won't deny, but the people who show the unhappy, doubting, insecure, arrogant, broken, dirty, selfish, fearful, HUMAN parts of themselves are the ones who really inspire me. I am not some ideal, and I don't want to be. I am broken, I am fearful, I am an arrogant dick, I am all kinds of things. Some of them I like, some I don't, but I'm not ashamed of that. I work on the things I dislike, sure, but... It's more inspiring to me to see someone willing to be visibly NOT perfect than some ideal, some fucking Superman, sent from Krypton to Save Us From Ourselves. I don't think that being human is something to be covered up or avoided or ashamed of. I think it's something to be celebrated. Everything, not just the pretty parts.

...To be horribly cliché and quote some of my favorite song lyrics: I won't explain or say I'm sorry/I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar/give a cheer for all the broken/listen here because it's who we are...
And the incredible irony of quoting from The Black Parade, an incredibly theatrical experience, to talk about the exact opposite isn't lost on me... :)

Rae said...

I think I'm in the same boat as Laura...I think there is an appeal to having you 'bare all' as they say, and I'll be honest - I want a HUMAN hero. Someone I can relate to. I remind myself time and time again that you and anyone else I'm a fan of (like, say, Adam), is just another human being. And I hate that the fandom builds up entitlement and perfection and puts you and others up on pedestals and expects you not to fall off from time to time. It's unrealistic, and frankly, I love seeing the complexity of you and Adam as people and artists. It's deep, but not in the way people usually assume.

Being on the "other side" for the most part, I've come to respect you as a human being and a friend, and I stopped "freaking out" so-to-speak whenever you called me. It was thrilling at first, and some of my online (fandom) friends were jealous and hyper, and it sorta stayed stuck to me. Then I realized I was forgetting my own rule about idolizing the people I admire and am inspired by, and calmed down, and now it's just like talking with a coworker or friend.

I kind of feel like I would like to see the more "human" part of celebrities - the part they hide away from most people, but on the other hand, it's their life, and their privacy, and they're allowed to keep that however they want. And considering the complete lack of privacy a lot of celebrities have, I don't blame them. I think it's a fine balance - you shouldn't ever compromise who you are or how you feel about things for the sake of public opinion - the honest truth is they'll find something to love or hate about you regardless - but there are ways to go about having an opinion or 'baring all' with tact and poise. You can do it all without looking like you're trying to gain attention.

I say that there is some mystery in not knowing everything about a person, and the truth is we can't really know anyone that well, but you can show us as much as you want, and people will accept or reject you and you have no control over that. The idea is never to lose yourself when the lights get too bright. :)

Bridget Eden said...

Cassidy you ARE a hero - just by being your self and letting us see it. The experiment IS working. Yes we want to see this of you - its part of what we love about you. No one is perfect - of you arent perfect than we dont have to feel like failures for not being perfect either. its part of what is inspiring of you. Maybe we DONT want to see this from Beyonce? Myabe not from everyone. but from YOU - yes. And we do know that it is part of you in the costume on stage and part of you forgetting your keys and so on. Your fans GET you and get what you are doing. You are a hero to us and dont need a costume for it - but we love the costumes too! What you are doing is very similar to figure skater Johnny Weir and his reality show on the Sundance channel [if you havent seen it you should sometime] it shows him crying when he skates bad - falling down on the ice. But it also shows him designing his beautiful costumes and skating inspiringly and talking to children and saying how he wants to represent people who feel like freaks so they know there is nothing wrong with them. You inspire people very much in the same way. Both you and Johnny are my personal heros. And I feel less like a freak myself being able to see people like you be unafraid to completely be theirselves.

Anonymous said...

Cassidy, once again you get to the heart of the matter. In getting to know a bit about you in the past couple of months, what I see best is that you always ask the right questions.
You are an artist. And like a writer, that has to whittle down a thought into the most articulate words possible, so to with your art. You create a picture which is worth a thousand words. You decide which picture depicts which thousand words you want us to see. We can't possibly know all of you, just bits here and there, your joy and sorrow that you are able to express through song, your vulnerability as we see bits of your daily life, your insecurities that reflect what all of us feel. But, most of all what we see is how you deal with all of it. The most interesting part. And we can take that home with us. I don't need a porcelain super-hero. But, I do want someone I can admire. And I do admire you... your spirit and drive. Your will and determination. Your dedication to values of right thinking and honesty. And your generosity in sharing your talent and your path with the rest of us. What you share with us is your choice, but I'll take whatever it is.

Janet
redhairedwitch

Shira said...

I think it depends on who you are living openly FOR.

Is it for you?

Is it for those fans who will get what you're doing across the board, musically, sartorially, artistically?

Is it for ALL your fans, including the ones who enjoy your voice, but aren't comfortable with your fashion, art or lifestyle? ( By lifestyle, I MEAN lifestyle . . . sexual orientation is such a limiting way to define that . . . also I don't buy into the notion it's a choice.)

Personally, I think it's beautiful and brave, and I like it. I'm a poor representative of anyone other than myself, however, as I LIKE provocative art and artists of whatever stripe that take chances. I accept that sometimes they'll fail in front of me (and others) because you don't always hit when you aim at the sun. Even failure is beautiful, if it's in the pursuit of something true. And then the payoff is that much greater when the artist DOES succeed.

On the other hand, most people I talk to, or read commentary by on teh intarwebz, don't want complexity. I'm in those places with those people mostly for reasons not related to your music, so percentage-wise that segment may be much smaller among your fans . . . I hope so. But yeah, most people . . . they want the cartoon. They want Beyonce on stage, and as soon as they find out too much about the Houston girl behind the scenes, they either invest in a way I personally find kinda creepy (no amount of behind the scenes stuff, as you've figured out, REALLY means a fan knows an artist . . . it just means the performance, for lack of a better word, now covers a larger spectrum), or they get upset at the newly uncovered feet of clay and react with some degree of negativity to this threat to their fairy tale.

*shrug*

I don't have an answer for you either. I can only tell you my subjective feelings, and I mean what I said above, I think it's beautiful and brave. For me, as much I enjoy the surfaces of things (and I really REALLY do, it's ridiculous), ultimately the best art is a conversation both through and outside of the artist. Knowing more about the artist doesn't detract from that unless they're into something horrible, like sex with children, or just a miserable bastard, like Van Gogh . . . and you aren't remotely like that from what you've shown us. I LOVE art that has layers, and knowing about the artist adds to that.

I also, personally, find real humans much more interesting and inspiring than cartoons . . . because it allows me to forgive myself and still attempt to love myself despite my own fractures.

I really hope you continue your realwebity series, and continue to find being so open fulfilling and entertaining for yourself as well as us. If I have any reservations at all, it's only that the glimpses of vulnerability very much remind me of me, and people I know and have known, and I'm well aware of how fragile we are sometimes, even when (especially when) we're fighting the good fight. It's heartening to see someone farther along the path still has the same demons, but also kinda frightening, ya know? I'm in a cusp period myself, and sometimes it's just really damn hard. But possibly that can be ultimately taken as another argument for openess, as my friends and the artists I look to for inspiration are a HUGE support to me when I'm struggling hardest and seeing the least progress. It's their love and courage that holds me up, when I'm having trouble finding my own.

Hah, and now I've succeeded in making myself emotional about this, also I've typed a whole lot, so I believe I'll go eat lunch now.

You have to do what's in your best interests ultimately . . . just know that you really ARE inspiring to other people.

standtogether said...

I definitely, definitely see your point there. Another example of a supposedly Perfect Person is Lady Gaga. I mean, we know everyone is flawed. But she is always perfectly kept, exactly the way she wants to look, saying exactly the things she wants to say. I remember hearing that she once hit a dancer in the mouth by accident with her microphone while performing. I always wondered what went on backstage - was Gaga cold to the dancer, uncaring? Or did she pay the woman's medical/dental bills?
It's a bit like that. Stars have this untouchable sort of persona, and when it breaks fans are often confused/betrayed. That's why I think your choice to tell all is a great one. We love flaws; they make a person whole and real. Why would you want half of a superstar when you could have the real thing? In the case of some people, the persona's enough. But your music reflects your inner personality so well that we wouldn't want you to change the way you present yourself.
Of course, it's entirely up to you. xoxo

Janet said...

Cassidy, once again you get to the heart of the matter. In getting to know a bit about you in the past couple of months, what I see best is that you always ask the right questions.
You are an artist. And like a writer, that has to whittle down a thought into the most articulate words possible, so to with your art. You create a picture which is worth a thousand words. You decide which picture depicts which thousand words you want us to see. We can't possibly know all of you, just bits here and there, your joy and sorrow that you are able to express through song, your vulnerability as we see bits of your daily life, your insecurities that reflect what all of us feel. But, most of all what we see is how you deal with all of it. The most interesting part. And we can take that home with us. I don't need a porcelain super-hero. But, I do want someone I can admire. And I do admire you... your spirit and drive. Your will and determination. Your dedication to values of right thinking and honesty. And your generosity in sharing your talent and your path with the rest of us. What you share with us is your choice, but I'll take whatever it is.

@redhairedwitch

Jenn said...

I love your openness and your willingness to share everything with us, but I think that the answer to the question of HOW MUCH is this- you gotta find the furthest limit you're willing to push, and take a step or two back. That way you aren't right at the limit all the time, but you're still close enough to be honest, like you always express that you want to be. So few people show anyone their true self, really, so

I think that a lot of people see you doing it and don't know how to respond, because it isn't something that they're used to. A lot of people don't understand being so comfortable in their own skin, in their own sexuality, in their own essence, and I love seeing someone who is. I would hate to see you not show that side of yourself anymore, but I would, of course, respect you doing whatever you gotta do for your own comfort.

Anonymous said...

you're absolutely beautiful.
and this whole blog reminds me of: "a man is least himself when he talks in his own person, give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."

i think its kinda snickerish that you're combining reality WITH music. something mtv has failed to do. i really wish mtv had you as a tv show. you know reality is like crack to people that like to live vicariously through the television. but i love you for encouraging people to take a journy with you for themselves. i might be a blind idolizer of an earth god but i believe you're doing exactly what someone should do at exactly the right time for it to be done. the world needs more cassidy. more people stripped of meterialistic overloads and inflated egos.
you have a way of making everyone feel like your closest friend at the same time you're fashionabally flitty.
i hope you never change. ever. you are a whole person. flawed and all. its refreshing to know other people aren't perfect either. most everyone is so self involved they think they're the only ones with issues and the people they idolize are watered down, over hyped, polished, pawns with scripted lifes, which is not the idea of a hero i would look up to..

@lovelyfreak

Ann Marie said...

Let me ramble a bit...

As a young teen, my first crush was Duran Duran - a beautifully crafted machine that blended music, video and fashion. My friends and I waited for their "world premiere videos" on MTV, we purchased every copy of Star Hits magazine we could find in an attempt to learn more about these music gods. Years later I was doing the same thing as a fan of Depeche Mode. I've seen them live an insane 32 times. When their behind-the-scenes video, Depeche Mode 101, came out we rejoiced. It was an opportunity to discover more. It showed us that these artists are people too. They have ex-wives, children, opinions, dreams and fears...they liked coffee, slushies and whatever else. Simply put, it was cool.

Fast forward to my late 30s. I find myself a fan of another beautifully crafted machine that blends music, video and fashion. His name is Cassidy Haley. I also happen to work with this guy. From the late night design sessions that leave me brain dead by morning to a playful tweet or email, I love it all. What Cassidy Haley shows us is no different from what others have artists have shared in the past. The only difference is that you're sharing your journey to fame with us now rather than springing it on us years down the road. I don't think it's a big deal...

As observers, we will always have opinions about how things should be done. We do this with our friends and families, even the characters we see on tv and film. You're a rising star documenting your life and sharing your journey, and you most certainly hear a great deal of shit - and I don't think that should stop you from doing things you want to do. Forgive the comparison, but as a mom to a 4 year old, I let my son son make mistakes and fall on his face. I feel it's how he'll learn best. I can tell him what I think, but sometimes he has to find his own way... I feel the same for you and your choices and this is how I live my life as well. Not sure if my thoughts are making sense because I'm just letting things flow from my brain...just do as you see fit. Live your life. Enjoy it. There will be acne, constipation, lost keys and whatever else - it's LIFE...remember, people also have choices. They can choose to know more about you or not. Don't click on the link. Don't watch the video.

I feel I can go on about this forever but I'm afraid the comment will be longer than the post...you are awesome, Cassidy Haley. You're the Boss Man and a friend and I think you're pretty friggin' special. Be yourself...

Amanda said...

I've been thinking about this public/private issue for a while now - sometimes fueled by seeing your experiences and sometimes by others I've seen on the 'net, and sometimes by my own experiences. It's a brave new world at the moment. Accessibility to what used to be people's actual private thoughts/feelings is a very new phenomenon. As Laura said, it appears to allow those watching, who feel they are invested, the license to give opinions where in the past, no-one would ever think to. This is the rub - the more open you are, the more people feel entitled to comment.

I think you've asked one question. But I think there's another question that only you can answer - it goes something like, "how much access do I want to give people to me and how much am I willing to listen to their opinions".

I adore that you are unfiltered and show your self to us, and I get a kick out of it. You're fascinating and talented and I agree with much of your philosophy on life. If I didn't think these things, I wouldn't follow you. But what if I disagreed? Well personally, I would stop following, or at least withold my comments - I don't really know you, so my opinion (unless solicited) isn't relevant. But in this brave new world, many people feel that as they have access, as they have invested emotionally, they are entitled to give unsolicited opinions. This is only going to increase I think, as people who don't remember over 10years ago, when twitter & youtube were unheard of. These people have grown up in this 'instant access' environment, and haven't learned that access doesn't equal entitlement. I'm not criticizing them, just stating a fact. So, I go back to my question - how much do you want to expose of yourself knowing that the more you do, the more entitled people will feel.

To answer your question - I love to see my heroes warts and all, that's what actually makes them heroic to me. But I also don't like to see them attacked and hurt by people who are invested in their own emotional journey. Who don't really see the human behind the hero's persona - no matter how much the hero shares.

@pomegranate02

Amanda said...

I've been thinking about this public/private issue for a while now - sometimes fueled by seeing your experiences and sometimes by others I've seen on the 'net, and sometimes by my own experiences. It's a brave new world at the moment. Accessibility to what used to be people's actual private thoughts/feelings is a very new phenomenon. As Laura said, it appears to allow those watching, who feel they are invested, the license to give opinions where in the past, no-one would ever think to. This is the rub - the more open you are, the more people feel entitled to comment.

I think you've asked one question. But I think there's another question that only you can answer - it goes something like, "how much access do I want to give people to me and how much am I willing to listen to their opinions".

I adore that you are unfiltered and show your self to us, and I get a kick out of it. You're fascinating and talented and I agree with much of your philosophy on life. If I didn't think these things, I wouldn't follow you. But what if I disagreed? Well personally, I would stop following, or at least withold my comments - I don't really know you, so my opinion (unless solicited) isn't relevant. But in this brave new world, many people feel that as they have access, as they have invested emotionally, they are entitled to give unsolicited opinions. This is only going to increase I think, as people who don't remember over 10years ago, when twitter & youtube were unheard of. These people have grown up in this 'instant access' environment, and haven't learned that access doesn't equal entitlement. I'm not criticizing them, just stating a fact. So, I go back to my question - how much do you want to expose of yourself knowing that the more you do, the more entitled people will feel.

To answer your question - I love to see my heroes warts and all, that's what actually makes them heroic to me. But I also don't like to see them attacked and hurt by people who are invested in their own emotional journey. Who don't really see the human behind the hero's persona - no matter how much the hero shares.

@pomegranate02

Josh said...

This is interesting to me because you've pretty much explained exactly why I'm almost completely distanced from pop culture. I think art that is devoid of the central human element of its creator is completely bankrupt of content. It's meaningless. It's about nothing. And usually in the mainstream, artist themselves become the backdrop to marketing schemes and I've never been interested in that at all. But lately there are all of these new celebrities cropping up who have these very complex, fascinating outward personas and the content of their music is still practically nonexistent. Catchy maybe, sure, cool, current, yeah fine. But it's not ABOUT anything. And I'm not looking to surround myself with that kind of emptiness.

The reason I was drawn to you in the first place is because of how deeply personal your art is, and how open you are to your fans and your willingness to connect with them as human beings instead of just a nameless faceless crowd that gathers around you. You let them know as much of you as you choose to show, and I think because of that those fans that have chosen to stay with you throuought all of this have such a deeper commitment to your career and your success than those who choose to support an artist just because it's cool to do so right at this exact second. Giving a piece of yourself the way you have is a way to make fans for life, and yes it might tarnish some of the mystique, but is that mystique really as important as you think it is?

I for one have no interest in a hero, I have no interest in a facade or a construct. I don't want to think I have an idea of the person behind the music and then have them turn out to disappoint me as a human being. I like to make an educated choice in who to support, look before I leap if you will, because I am by no means a fair weather fan. I'm picky as hell, and I look to artists as inspiration, not simple entertainment.

If you want fans who will come and go with the tide of the trends, then find out what people want and make yourself into that. You might be successful. You might be popular. You might even make a lot of money. But as soon as what's new and cool and current shifts, all those people that claim to love you will abandon you and you'll wonder what you hoped to gain from it all in the first place. If you're just you, those who really believe in your art and what you have to say will always continue to do so even when it's no longer fashionable.

Both arguments have their pros and cons, but in the end it's ultimately your choice to make.

Shannon said...

Personally, I don't want 'heroes' that seem perfect or appear to have a charmed life where everything is always exactly as they want it. Maybe as a kid that super hero ideal of Superman or Wonderwoman was what I looked up to but it's not real.

To me being a hero doesn't mean being a perfect ideal. No one can be that to everyone. A hero is human, and has bad days, and has things go wrong sometimes, and fails occasionally. It's not about if they screw up or make mistakes. It's about what they do with it. I admire someone who works hard to do something they believe in, or stand up for things that are important to them, even if they fail or make mistakes, a lot more than I do someone who just always seems to have everything go right all the time.

That said, do I think it's necessary to share every little detail of your life to be accessible and 'real' to your fans. Probably not. There are details of peoeple's lives that probably shouldn't be shared with the general public. Where exactly that line is though is up to each individual person. But restricting what you say to only the positive and good things that happen doesn't make you appear more of a hero than sharing the things the days or things that don't go the way you want either.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Cassidy...

This is just the humble opionion of one fan, but, somehow, I'm *comforted* when I find out my heroes don't know everything, can't answer everything, can't *be* everything. Because I certainly can't. When I find out they can't either, it's a weight off.

Have you ever read anything by Madeleine L'Engle? I adore her, and she's shaped alot of the way I think. She wrote that the most complete people, the most WHOLE people, WILL contradict themselves. Not because they're hypocritical, but just because it's in human nature to be contradictory; in other words, someone can be the powerful performer *and* the stuggling person all at the same time. And it's okay. It's okay to say you're both and not have to suffocate one part of yourself.

There's another L'Engle quote I love : "We cannot seem to escape paradox. I do not think I want to."

I don't know if any of this has even made any sense or if you think it's complete crap. But I'll leave you with this thought: I admit, I don't always completely understand your art, but what drew me to your music was the honesty that came through in it.

Love to you.

~Courtney (@courtnsnack)

Free Decision said...

Are people looking for a hero? A Superman. Bulletproof, faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Even able to turn back time, in the right circumstances. Someone who never does anything “questionable” or “wrong.” A "perfect" being? Maybe. Except that’s boring, not to mention nonexistent. It would also be intimidating, we all know we can never measure up to the Superhero.

So while many dream of the perfect superhero, we all look for people who can be good role models. People who can be inspiring. What does that mean? Completely different to everyone, we all have our own individual Kryptonite. Hopes and dreams we have never dared to pursue. Things we have done that we regret. Things we have NOT done that we regret.

What, or who, is inspiring? Someone who is brave enough to pursue their dreams and is willing to share that journey is inspiring. Also knowing that person has some of the same warts we all have, well, that’s inspiring. To think that someone who isn’t perfect, someone very human, like everyone else, can strive to achieve their dreams...

Maybe that means there really is hope for all of us?